


blame; hhj & hrj.

by arrowthroughtheheart



Series: we're making history. [2]
Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Humor, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, M/M, Mentioned Yang Jeongin | I.N, Oblivious Huang Ren Jun, but only lowkey explained, i'm too lazy to go through this and edit it i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 14:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19014406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrowthroughtheheart/pseuds/arrowthroughtheheart
Summary: Don’t blame those who stayed - for they’ve done their best in piecing together broken bones, to repaint faded colours. Blame those who left - because they think they’ve done their best, they feel like they’re the ones who hurt the most, when in reality; they walked away.





	blame; hhj & hrj.

**Author's Note:**

> okay but if you're wondering where all the ships in this series come from, i also don't know my friend. then again this is just me feeding my hungry stayzen heart in hopes that if someone sees this and pity me and my horrible writing skills they'll write a better one to contribute to my thirst:)))  
> but that's just me asking too much. ENJOY HSHSHSHS IDK WHAT THIS MESS IS
> 
>  
> 
> *suggestion: read from part 1 to get every ref ever uwu,, its fine if you dont want to tho*

Don’t blame those who stayed - for they’ve done their best in piecing together broken bones, to repaint faded colours. Blame those who left - because they think they’ve done their best, they feel like they’re the ones who hurt the most, when in reality; they walked away.

It was the summer of last year where Renjun was still at home, lazing around as a freshly-graduated ex-high schooler at a fast food restaurant just a few feet away from the front porch of his warm and comfortable home. Eyes fixed on his unfinished drawing and the light sketches his hands made, Renjun did not realize what was happening in front of him until it was simply; too late.

The sound of a group of teenage boys coming towards him were already unpleasant to hear; since Renjun himself can pretty much identify himself as a shy-ass-bitch - and the flinch he did when that group of four boys sat beside him, only with the wide space of _one_ empty table gave it away. He did nothing, of course. Didn’t look up, didn’t stare. _Calm down, Renjun, they won’t give a shit about you_ , he thought.

But then they started talking.

In the small, _small_ group of friends Renjun had all the way from his pre-school until a few days ago when he finished high-school all-together, he never had a friend from the country outside of his own. But it doesn’t mean that he didn’t understand what the four boys were talking about.

Korean - obviously, from the sound of it. Also from how loud they were talking comfortably without a concern of anyone understanding them, even though Renjun; who is literally around their corner - did.

Renjun’s mouth twitched into a visible smile, but he kept it as lowkey as he could before pushing the smile away at all, not about to make himself look weird.

They were talking about _something_ , and by the sound of it two out of the four of them were playing a game with each other, and Renjun is quite entertained by how excited some of them sounded. He’s never had an experience like this with any of _his_ friends, but then again Renjun himself was never one to express his emotions if he’s not challenged by death. So…

 _“Dumbass, it’s gonna end soon!”_ the one right beside Renjun groans, eyes still fixed on his phone - lit up by the intense game he’s playing against the other boy he’s sitting across. He smells like a light scent of vanilla mixed with caramel, and Renjun cringes inwardly at this. _Soft._

 _“_ You’re _the dumbass, that’s the point. See, see, see- AHA! I ended you, bitch.”_

Now, Renjun is just trying to hold his laughter. It’s weird how he feels like he can provide a whole movie-like subtitles translating their muffled koreans into his own very fluent, mandarin for whatever is going on beside him, but at the same time he feels like he’s eavesdropping. On his defense, the group of boys were quite loud since they figured that no one could understand a single word they’re saying, and they’re being loud for _a reason_.

_“Felix, you buy us McFlurries.”_

_“No, make Jisung go.”_

_“Why can’t Seungmin go-”_

_“_ Hwang, _shut the fuck up!”_

Renjun’s head shot straight up when he heard his family name, eyebrows knit together in confusion. The boys beside him continued to argue anyways, though, with the said ‘Hwang’ shooting a comment straight back at the guy who mentioned his name. “No way, they must be mentioning a different _Huang_ ,” Renjun mumbled to himself, diving back into his drawing.

There’s silence in the air after that, and Renjun stilled with the weird-atmosphere as he regretted how loud his habit of talking to himself could be.

 _“_ Uh… _Hyunjin, I think- I think that dude over there mentioned your name,_ ” one of them whispers, and Renjun felt a shy and subtle thumb pointing to his direction, followed with the boy right beside Renjun’s head tilting. He looked at him for a while before his gaze travelled downwards to Renjun’s sketchbook - and lords, please mutilate him if he’s wrong but the boy _smiled._

 _“For real?”_ the Hyunjin guy chuckled. _“That cute one?”_

A groan and a loud laugh followed the Hyunjin guy’s sentence as the other three reacted differently. He received a high-five from the chubby-cheeks guy, a complaint from the deep-voiced guy and a whole chain of curse words from the last guy. “Hyunjin, you hoe.”

_“Did you just learn Mandarin to curse me out loud?”_

Renjun is over here almost wheezing and trying to not be flustered in the same time, eyes expanding and narrowing at every compliment this _Hyunjin_ is throwing at him every now and then secretly. Well, at least he thought Renjun doesn’t understand. It’s okay, it’s the thought that counts.

He was ready to go when the accident happened.

The sky was beginning to get darker and darker, and if Renjun didn’t get to move soon, he’s going to have to stay in that restaurant his whole life since his mother was not the type to tolerate her kids coming home late. By the time he began gathering his pencils and putting them inside his bag, he felt a slight shift in the atmosphere that was surrounding him that made him frown. _Something’s wrong._

Renjun looked to his side to see the Hyunjin guy on a standing position, his body twisted in a way because he’s trying to move forward _while_ talking to his friends behind him, all of that while the point of his shoes are facing Renjun’s direction. He can sense it _not_ ending well, but Renjun’s not God.

But after this one accident, he might reconsider.

Just for safety reasons, he lifted his sketchbook away with his right arm - away from Hyunjin and his possible life-threatening future, and he turned his chin to watch the things go down in HD 1080p. _And it did._

Mr. Hwang(?) Hyunjin stumbled on his own feet, eyes wide and shocked about how non-cooperative his limbs can be and his hands almost as quickly as he can tried grabbing everything, _anything_ , that would slow down his fall. Luckily enough, that _thing_ is Renjun’s hand.

Bless - or curse - Huang Renjun and his fast response to literally anything and everything, since he feels like the world just goes on too slow and he can literally move faster than any accident _ever_ , and bless the fact that he straightened his left hand out for Hyunjin to… grab if he ever needed it to survive, you know? No, Renjun wasn’t taking any chances, he just… knew. That this would happen. Obviously.

Renjun was surprised by how strong Hyunjin’s grasp ended up being, though, as he calculated that he would’ve still fell - but he’d be holding Renjun’s hand while he would’ve end up helping the taller stand up after a nasty fall; but Hyunjin managed to stay _standing._ Renjun held a snort from coming out of his mouth when the rest of Hyunjin’s friends laughed, and he concluded that a small smile would be enough.

There was also a hint of coldness on the surface of his jeans from _maybe_ the drink that was on the table that Hyunjin slipped right onto, but he let it slide. That is, until Hyunjin looked up at him, panicked and fearful. “Oh my god, _I fucked up._ 对不起, _mister_ \- uh… um,” the tall boy looked around for help, not knowing how to ask for Renjun’s forgiveness. Though the later find it slightly endearing how flustered Hyunjin looked, poor Hyunjin didn’t know that.

“It’s alright, I’m okay. Are _you_ okay, though?” Renjun raised his eyebrows while he helped the shy boy stand up. Hyunjin is tall, and that made Renjun had to look up to ‘calm him down’, and although it wasn’t ideal in the slightest - he still did it voluntarily. “I’m okay- wait,” Hyunjin frowns.

“Y-you understand… korean?”

Renjun thought the whole ordeal was already priceless to begin with, since his lonely drawing hours was accompanied by teenage banters and light-hearted jokes to accompany his usually silent atmosphere in the fast food restaurant. But the silence and utter disbelief he got to see from the boys when they realized Renjun _understood_ what they were saying this whole time?

He won in life.

A cackle erupted from a boy that is now situated next to him since Hyunjin shifted away a little bit, and the boy raised his hand to give Renjun a high-five - which the later responded in confusion, but responded anyways. “Good! Now our Hyunjin here can actually make some move. What’s up? I’m Han Jisung.”

“I’m Renjun,” he nodded, eyes filled with mischievousness he never really got to show. “ _Huang_ Renjun. Nice to uh…” Renjun trails off, looking down at his tea-stained jeans. “Get to _know_ all of you,” he emphasized his words while patting his legs.

“Oh, another Hwang,” Jisung continued, eyes looking back and forth between Hyunjin and Renjun. “You can be just like the _Song-Song_ or whatever.”

“But I… his pants…” Hyunjin said, his eyes went from Renjun to his friends and then back to Renjun, confused over what he’s supposed to say. “Oh, it’s no big deal, I promise. My house is just around the corner, it won’t be that hard to walk over there without dying.”

Renjun and his flash-like-senses were back right in that moment, and he can _literally_ feel Hyunjin’s friends exchanging glances at each other and he notices how fast Hyunjin’s face morphed into looking upset after he disclosed said information a few seconds ago. But he’s Renjun. The world will _end_ before he could ever make the initiative move to cancel what he just said. That’s too much for his ego.

“But this is _barely_ night time.”

Unexpected and out of nowhere. That’s what made people look at Hyunjin and the words that slipped right out of his lips. Renjun also looked, and he found the taller with one of his eyebrows raised. “Why would you hurry home that fast?”

Renjun decided against answering, and instead he decided to play the usual innocent facade. _That_ usually take him places. He swallowed evidently, and it pushed a chuckle out of Hyunjin, which he quickly covered with a bright and innocent smile.

“I mean… our dorm. It’s also nearby, you know? We can borrow you our clothes and-” Hyunjin trailed off, looking away from Renjun - for a while, before his strong gaze returned. _He did a 180° turn and Renjun wasn’t sure how ready he is for it._ “And maybe we could get to know each other better?”

Our little Renjun isn’t dumb. He knew better than to accept this shady-looking invitation, of course - as the silent little voice in his head confirmed - and he won’t be fooled into something he’ll cry about for days after he regretted about it enough. He won’t. He will never. He-

~~__Ah, fuck it. What can I lose?_ _ ~~

 

“Oh, okay.”

Last summer, a few weeks after his over-dramatized graduation, Huang Renjun met Hwang Hyunjin. And that exact day, he wasn’t even sure how he’s supposed to face everything, every problem, and every single danger - that comes with the responsibility of knowing Hyunjin.

I mean, it was summer.

Was he actually supposed to think about anything _except_ what was right in front of his eyes?

 

* * *

 

Renjun’s phone is vibrating vigorously, and there’s literally nothing else that it could do to give its owner a will-power strong enough for him to pick it up from the nightstand. A nightstand _right_ beside his bed. The young man refuses to give a shit about whoever might be calling this early in the morning, and instead he covers his ears with his fluffy pillow.

That is - until another pillow swings at him from the top bunk - followed by a complain in a very high-pitched voice, narrated by yours truly; Zhong Chenle.

“ _Gege_ , make that thing shut up! I swear I’ll hunt down whoever that us if you don’t-”

“Okay, shut up, you over-privileged brat,” Renjun rolls his eyes - lowkey afraid of Chenle’s random rants so early in the morning. He isn't really fond of the idea of losing someone he loves because Chenle hires a mercenary to kill them since they woke the young master up in the morning or something, besides; it won’t really be a good sob-story. _“I lost my friend because my rich cousin killed him,”_ yeah, right. Renjun doesn’t want to be Chenle 2.0.

The name _Hwang Hyunjin_ shows up on his phone screen, and not squealing out loud since he himself doesn’t want to be killed by Chenle is the least Renjun could do in this situation.

“Hello?” he whispers, stumbling out of his bed a little bit, shuddering when he sees Chenle’s sharp eyes glaring daggers onto his face. _“Renjun, I-”_

The panic in Hyunjin’s voice spreads like wildfire, and Renjun is suddenly wide awake. His eyes snaps open and his back straightened - making the bed squeak as he does. Chenle groans on the top bunk, tossing here and there to make himself comfortable.

“Jin, what is it?” Renjun asks, already on his way to wearing his pants and shirt, whispering long forgotten. But at this time he’s expecting Chenle to get what he’s going through and just try his best to sleep, honestly. _“I- I’m on your apartment’s rooftop, and-”_

Renjun’s whole body froze. He was kind of expecting to whip out his psychological side out in case Hyunjin was calling late at night for these kinds of instances, but actually hearing it slip out of his mouth was… something else. Renjun felt like he can’t move, his lips dried at the amount of anxiety Hyunjin sounds like he’s having, and he’s about to collapse.

“W-wait, Hyunjin. Before you do anything _stupid_ , please- listen to me. I know this might not be the best way to convince you not to do it, but I love you. Your friends love you, your brother loves you, too! Chenle talks about him a lot, and-”

 _“What?”_ a chuckle comes out from the other end of the line, and Renjun feels like cursing. _“I’m not about to_ jump _, if that’s what you assumed.”_

O-oh.

Great. Now he just feels stupid. And what was that- did he just confessed his love for Hyunjin? In a non-sarcastic and definitely not intellectually smart, planned out way? _The_ Huang Renjun? Not thinking twice before saying things?

What kind of world is he living in?

Renjun checks his pulse, feeling it beat slowly for a second before it accelerates back into its full potential - noticing how Hyunjin was safe from harm for a couple seconds before realizing he’s in much deeper shit than he bargained for when he first befriended Hyunjin and his friends and got lured into chasing education back in Korea in the span of a few weeks. He’s in way more than that, now, is he?

 _“I was actually about to do something else, but… damn. I guess Huang Renjun_ is _always a step faster than all of us, huh?”_

What does that even mean?

“Wait, I don’t get it. Do you want me to do something? Is that why you called?” Renjun responds, trying his best to shake off the jittery feeling he’s beginning to catch from imagining what in the world Hyunjin is doing up there.

_“Come up here. I need to talk to you about something. Be quick, please, I’m impatient.”_

At the suggestive tone of his teasing, Renjun shuts his phone off, turning around to examine if Chenle is watching him this whole time and he should be more embarrassed about the whole ordeal, but the younger looks asleep enough to be considered unable to listen. He sighs at this, putting his phone back on his nightstand before taking a step outside, unsure.

He won’t leave Hyunjin out there alone, cold and confused. But he just needs time, you know? He needs-

The phone rings again, and however brave Renjun claimed to be all his life, it took him ages to turn around and make a move to take it away from the nightstand - but by the time Renjun _did_ face his phone, Chenle is standing on the stairs of the bunk bed with a _gun_ in hand.

A fucking gun. What the fuck-

None of these questions were able to be surfaced by Renjun, since Chenle is a millisecond faster than his tongue and he pulled the trigger, successfully hitting Renjun’s phone in the middle of its attempt to make its owner realize that someone is calling - and it died. Of course, it died, a bullet just… went through it.

“Zhong Chenle, what the _fuck_ are you on?” Renjun screams, his hand held up to protect himself if the bullet ever decided to bounce right back up towards him and kill him by running through his brain straight to the wall behind them.

Chenle looks unbothered, though, as he usually does - and he slips his fucking gun back under his pillow. _He had it there the whole time?_

“I told you I was meaning to hunt the caller down, but since it’s the guy that would take my cousin’s hand in marriage - if the time would _ever_ come before you die of your own stupidity - I killed your phone instead,” Chenle deadpanned, already on his way back to bed. “How am I supposed to… I don’t know, _live_ without my phone, then?”

Chenle waves Renjun off, a half asleep already. “Oh, chill a little bit, _gege._ I’m your rich cousin. Another one of your stupid phone-devices won’t be hard for me to get. Just go meet your boyfriend.”

Renjun stood there, unharmed, luckily. Unlike his obviously dead and slightly smoky phone - but he nods either way.

Ain’t nobody else has a cousin like Zhong Chenle, he can tell you that.

 

The hellevator - _elevator, fine, you’re no fun_ \- on the way up is as slow as it can get, even though Renjun is sure it wasn’t supposed to be this slow since he’s living with his cousin in a rich-people environment, and he’s 100% sure that even Chenle could blow this whole building down if he’s unhappy.

To get to the rooftop, though, you need to manually step up on a few stairs - which explains why no one has actually ever been up there. Since they’re all lazy as heck.

Hyunjin is standing near the janitor’s exit somewhere in the middle of the empty rooftop, his whole back leaning away onto the small building’s walls. His eye smile returns when he caught sight of Renjun, running towards him in small Renjun steps before stopping to suck in some air.

“You’re unfair,” Renjun huffs. “Why pick the tallest floor, bitch, I’m about to die,” he continues, knitting his eyebrows together in pure annoyance, and Hyunjin coos at the shorter male. “That’s my point. We’re going to die together,” he replies - dodging the tiny slap Renjun was about to give him - but caught the later before he can fall face first onto the ground.

“Speak up,” Renjun backs off Hyunjin’s touch, a bit flustered from the sudden contact.

“Huh?”

“You said you want to tell me something! Speak up before I lock the door so you can’t escape.”

“Oh, alright,” Hyunjin lifts the corner of his mouth into a smile. Renjun hasn’t seen him this happy before - well, he has. That one time he finds Renjun in the morning _still_ lazing around beside him even though Renjun has evidently woke up a few minutes ago because he’s playing with his phone intently, that other time where he washes Hyunjin’s hair after they finished a quote-on-quote basketball game together - with a lot of unmentioned spice after the basketball game, um - and some other times Renjun has always opted to not remember for the good of his own heart.

He has sparkles in his eyes, and it doesn’t matter whether Renjun remembers them or not. It matters that _he_ made the sparkles in Hyunjin’s eyes return. But then again, Renjun doesn’t know yet.

He’s good at observing a lot of things, yes, Hyunjin admits that - _his_ Renjun is a great observer. He takes great actions after he notices things, too, apparently, and that has saved both of them from a lot of trouble. Renjun was the one to instinctively wash Hyunjin’s hair when their friend caught them in the washroom all alone, which made Hyunjin look up at the serious Renjun dumbly before he realized what the later was trying to do - and he laughed at it. He laughed at almost every single smart thing his Renjun has ever done, and he’s loved every single one of it.

One problem, though. Renjun has never been his Renjun.

The one thing Renjun hasn’t ever observed, probably, is Hyunjin’s heart. He maybe just doesn’t want to, and he’s too insecure to make any assumptions - but Hyunjin never blamed him for it. If he can, Hyunjin would blame _himself._

Since the beginning of time, you’re not at fault if you stayed. You’re at fault if you leave.

Renjun stayed the same. The same overly-smart, artistic and passionate, easily-angered Renjun. He stayed as quick-witted and almost psychic throughout his whole days of knowing Hyunjin, and he stayed as oblivious as he was when they first met during the tea-spilling situation. He stays. He’s not wrong by doing so.

Hyunjin, on the other hand.

He came. And then he left. He labeled them as friends. Then it grew into something we all know and love; add benefits to that ‘friends’ term. And then it grew into them being fuck-buddies, oddly enough - since Hyunjin never thought Renjun would be like _that_ \- and he started feeling like it’s not enough. The amount of times where Hyunjin would demand for Renjun to stay with him, to shower him with love as if they were actually boyfriends were… starting to scare himself.

So Hyunjin left. He cut them off. He ran away, trying to trace back what kickstarted their whole thing. But he just simply can’t.

He keeps blaming himself, and he’s not sure who he’s supposed to say sorry to. He’s not going to come out of it alive if he doesn’t tell Renjun at least _once_ , and once he’s shoot his shots, Hyunjin promised himself he’ll be alright. He’ll be… the one everyone blamed. But he’ll be fine. He’s fine.

“Before I say anything,” Hyunjin starts - fog glazing over his eyesight from his nervousness and fear of simply being kicked out. “I know what I will say might not make any sense. I know it might seem like I’m bullshitting my whole way into your heart again, but I’m begging you to not see me that way… _yet_.”

Renjun nods. Good. A signal of acceptance.

“I… I simply don’t know how to say this, I’ve never made a confession that worked,” Hyunjin chuckles, hearing the way Renjun gasps tinily in front of him - but then again he might be hearing things. “But you beat me to it, once again,” he smiles, wary of his hands that are trying to cradle Renjun’s face in them, but then he stopped restraining them, and his right hand managed to remove the tiny strands of hair that was covering Renjun’s face.

“Huang Renjun, you crazy motherfucker. I don’t know how my heart was drawn towards you, and I also don’t know why it took me so long to realize the things that have been in front of me this whole time - I did realize it way too late, but I’m hoping that it’s not that late that you’ve heard someone say it to you before I do,” Hyunjin stops, looking away to the view of the city on the distance before looking back at Renjun. _Back_ to _Renjun._

“So…”

“ _I love you, Huang.”_ **...Hwang.”**

 

The tiny chuckle from Hyunjin broke the silence they had by looking into each other’s eyes, the smile decorating Hyunjin’s face slowly spreading its way onto Renjun’s face as he mirrors the one in front of him.

“Did we say 'I love you' together? How romantic?” Hyunjin continues, already getting into a fit of laughter that made him topple over - no, it’s not caused by the jab Renjun striked towards his inner stomach - and allows Renjun to catch him yet again. “Mmhmm, I was really taking my chances with that one,” Renjun replies, the same amount of humour lacing his voice while he repeatedly starts tickling the taller.

“Taking your chances?! Huang Renjun, the mere thought of me not being in love with you is ridiculous. In what world would I _not_ be,” Hyunjin shares his bright grin, almost too happy to be seen by normal humans’ eyes. “Well, I don’t know Hwang Hyunjin, I was kind of hoping for your usual candle-light dinner for the perfect time and place, but- I mean the rooftop is romantic, I guess, for someone like _you,_ ” Renjun raises his eyebrows playfully, letting his arms snake around Hyunjin’s waist to pull him into a hug.

“Someone like _me_?” Hyunjin leans down, leaving a peck on top of Renjun’s forehead. “Someone you’re in love with, you mean?”

Hyunjin had that last slap to his back coming, but he still received it with a loud laugh.

“You sound so whipped, you cheesy bitch.”

 

_“Oh, right, Renjun?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“I was about to do the… ‘Oh, I’ll call you Mr. Hwang now, wink-wonk’ but then I realize how that’s not going to get you flustered, because…”_

_“Yeah… no.”_

_“Not in the slightest bit?”_

_“No.”_

_“Got it.”_

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this is lowkey fun and i want to do more hAHAHAH


End file.
